You have no idea what I will show you!

For the first time last fall I planted tulips in the barrels next to my driveway. Each one was gently buried in the ground with care to make sure that they were properly planted so that this spring I would be able to enjoy their beauty. As fall turned to winter and the rains came, I would glance at the hidden treasure that I had waiting, smile knowing that after the rain there would be beauty where there was now barren muddy ground. Spring finally arrived and much to my delight, my tulips were breaking ground and bursting with color just like I had anticipated. They were beautiful! I would find reasons to walk outside just so that I could enjoy their beauty and make my heart smile. Then tragedy struck, I walked outside earlier this week and found my beautiful flowers ravaged by a passing family of deer. I was devastated.

Life has been very difficult these past few weeks to say the least. We are full of uncertainty, change, and shaky ground. What happened to the tulips was a type of what I was feeling happening over and over in my life. Hard work and beauty stolen and ravaged beyond recognition. I hurt!

“ Philip found Nathanael and told him, we have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote- Jesus of Nazareth. The son of Joseph. Nazareth! Can anything good come from there? Nathanael asked. Come and see, said Philip. When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said to him, here is a true Israelite. In whom there is nothing false. How do you know me! Nathanael asked. Jesus answered I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you. Then Nathanael declared, Rabbi you are the son of God, you are the King of Israel
Jesus said, You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that!

While reading the above passage I began to wonder where Nathanael was at in his life. What was it that made him react as he did just by Jesus seeing him before Philip? Then I heard these same words spoken by Jesus to me…. Tammy I see you under the tree. I am not sure if Nathanael was in the same place as I am, but my heart reacted just as his did… I began to understand that Jesus was telling me He sees me where I am. And that brings comfort to my heart. But Jesus being the God that he is to me doesn’t leave it there…. He says to me You have no idea what I will show you! I think that my life is at a loss that I have come to the end of my walk and of my effectiveness’. That I have been thrown away, but God says you have no idea!

Then yesterday after a wonderful day riding with some new friends, I come home feeling content. It is then that I find out today’s plans are not going to go as planned… Once again I feel life is being stolen. I am instantly hurt and wounded! I am sick of being the victim and yet I don’t know how to react any other way. I am lost and overwhelmed. I close my eyes and sleep a restless night.

In the quiet of this morning I awaken. The house is still… my favorite time of the day. I grab my coffee and walk out on my deck. Determined to face the day with a new resolve. NO MORE VICTIM! I come before God and ask.” Lord, how do I do this and not lose who I am in the process? How do I be strong and yet not overpowering and hard?” The answer is simple. Look to me, God says for your definition, and your strength will come…. In my weakness He is made strong. God then says, I am not finished with you yet, you are so fearful of what may happen… I say Let not your heart be troubled, believe in me…. He then goes on to give me this…

Isaiah 49: 1-6
Listen to me, you island: hear this, you distant nations; Before I was born the Lord called me, from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword. In the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor. But I said, I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the Lord’s hand and my reward is with my God. And now the Lord says- he who formed me in the womb to be his servant to bring Jacob back to him and gather Israel to himself, for I am honored in the eyes of the Lord and my God has been my strength- He says: It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.

He then explained: What I have interpreted as being overlooked and passed by has really been Him concealing me in his quiver until just the right time.

I don’t know when that time is, but I do know that where once was devastation, hope is brewing.. I am beginning to see things a bit differently now… I am anxiously waiting as God again whispers, “You have no idea what I will show you!”