The struggle to stay afloat in this world called Faith sometimes is just that, a struggle... but isn't this the way that it is suppose to be? I look back upon the times I cherish most in my life, and I can honestly say they did not come without struggle and pain.
Learning to walk did not come without bumps and bruises along the way.
Riding a bike, skates, or any other thing with wheels for that matter didn't come without the feeling of life out of control and my world crashing...literally!
Saying goodbye to the ones I loved to set out on my own in this great big world was met with loneliness and breathtaking reality of what adulthood really meant.
Meeting my husband was first preceeded by a time where I was convenced that I was unloveable and forgotten.
The birth of each of my children, with a time of carrying a most uncomfortable weight, longing to see their face, hold them in my arms, and breathe in that first breath of new life fresh from heaven itself.
Each move, each choice, each step in this walk of life is a struggle to believe in what is yet to be seen, yet to be transfered from the reality of realms...spirit to natural.
Yet it is worth the wait... as all things good are... Wings are strengthened so that flight can be higher than first thought possible. We are created to dream big dreams, so that we can in times like these learn to touch the bigness of our God and soar.
God has great plans for us... just outside... just past the struggle...is the truth of what is to be.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
In Between
~David the anointed king finds himself hiding in a cave, running for his life.
~Moses the leader of his people runs away and moves to the desert.
~Ruth gives up everything to follow her mother-in-law, to find herself in the middle of a field gathering the scraps left behind by the harvesters.
There is a place in between… a place beyond the thrill of the commission and the realization of the promise. The place in between. Where life is lived, where faith is honed, and where trust is made.
The enemy whispers the age old lie…”Did God really say?” and It is here the choice must be made. Will I go back to what is comfortable… Will I walk away, or will I really stand… Will I raise the sword that has been placed in my hand. Will I use the shield that protects my heart and take the step to truly believe?
It is a place of vulnerability, of confusion, and of doubt… It is a place of choice. . Where battles are won and lost and where warriors are made.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Random thoughts
As I come to the final months in 2011 and reflect on where God and I have walked this past year, I see that the journey although not at all at it’s final destination, has been further than I have expected.
It has been a path of strolling through meadows with the gentle breeze blowing thru my hair and whispers of I love you, to clinging to God as I walk… (sometimes all but run) through the valley of the shadow of death.
All the while learning some very valuable life changing lessons along the way. This year began with a whisper… “Truth in your inward being.” Quite honestly my persception was quite different than what God thought.
I assumed that it would be a year of God pouring truth into me…
I would become wise…
I would become closer to him…
I would show the world that I wasn’t the blonde they think I am.
God, however had other plans! God showed me, as painful as it was at the time, how empty I actually was.
That I had indeed lost my first love, and believed a lie.
He showed me that in my emptiness I was clinging so hard to what I couldn’t control, I was strangling those around me.
He showed me that what I believed to be truth about myself, about my husband, and about my friends and family was actually me filtered thru pain of the past.
He also showed me who He is… and who He has created me to be.
He has shown me that as I let go of who I think I should be, I have room to embrace who it is I have been created to be.
He restored my voice, strengthened my inward parts, and fashioned beauty for ashes.
He whispered of His deep love for me, and how he longed to see me as I truly am.
He took away my fear of not being in control and showed me how to fight.
I no longer have to cower and worry… I can now stand and declare He has set me free!
He has given me a longing to see others set free.
I long to take those so captivated by the past that their very breath seems to be sucked out of them and show them their future.
Show them that they are loved with an immeasurable love… I long to walk with them in their pain, as I am familiar with the path.
I long to hold them as all that they believe comes crashing down around them, because I know that after the weeping… Joy comes in the morning.
I do not know all the places that God is taking me, but I do know that there is a reason He has taught me to fight, there is a reason that He has shown me how deeply He loves me, and there is a reason I long to show this to others… and finally I can know that for now… that is enough for me!
It has been a path of strolling through meadows with the gentle breeze blowing thru my hair and whispers of I love you, to clinging to God as I walk… (sometimes all but run) through the valley of the shadow of death.
All the while learning some very valuable life changing lessons along the way. This year began with a whisper… “Truth in your inward being.” Quite honestly my persception was quite different than what God thought.
I assumed that it would be a year of God pouring truth into me…
I would become wise…
I would become closer to him…
I would show the world that I wasn’t the blonde they think I am.
God, however had other plans! God showed me, as painful as it was at the time, how empty I actually was.
That I had indeed lost my first love, and believed a lie.
He showed me that in my emptiness I was clinging so hard to what I couldn’t control, I was strangling those around me.
He showed me that what I believed to be truth about myself, about my husband, and about my friends and family was actually me filtered thru pain of the past.
He also showed me who He is… and who He has created me to be.
He has shown me that as I let go of who I think I should be, I have room to embrace who it is I have been created to be.
He restored my voice, strengthened my inward parts, and fashioned beauty for ashes.
He whispered of His deep love for me, and how he longed to see me as I truly am.
He took away my fear of not being in control and showed me how to fight.
I no longer have to cower and worry… I can now stand and declare He has set me free!
He has given me a longing to see others set free.
I long to take those so captivated by the past that their very breath seems to be sucked out of them and show them their future.
Show them that they are loved with an immeasurable love… I long to walk with them in their pain, as I am familiar with the path.
I long to hold them as all that they believe comes crashing down around them, because I know that after the weeping… Joy comes in the morning.
I do not know all the places that God is taking me, but I do know that there is a reason He has taught me to fight, there is a reason that He has shown me how deeply He loves me, and there is a reason I long to show this to others… and finally I can know that for now… that is enough for me!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Even now, what stirs your heart?
2 Kings Ch 11
Your job is to stay with the king at all times and places, coming and going.
Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere
God does not reveal himself as limitless in order to limit us. Quite the contrary. He wants to put his heart within us. “God did not save you to tame you!”
God is not looking for people who act like Christians. He wants us to be Christians! The word Christian means “anointed or Christ-like one.” Jesus didn’t go around “being good,”; he went around “doing good” and releasing all who were oppressed. What has he anointed you to do?
How will you respond when you are fully, dangerously awake? What history will you make? Will you, like the fierce lioness, awaken from a tranquilized state and rise up to defend your family, your community, your world? Are you awake? Even now, what stirs your heart?
Just as the men in the above scripture where charged; our job is to stay with the king at all times and places, coming and going. This must be our first and foremost obligation. Without this at the forefront of our daily lives all that follows is for nothing.
We try so hard to act like Christians, when this isn’t what God wants from us at all. He wants us to BE Christians. Not to act “Christ-like, but to BE Christ-like. “ how will we know what to do if we have no idea who he is and what he is doing?
We are not drones, that just walk around filling space, bumping into things and only spitting out what we have been programmed to do. We are, with the anointing of The King, a forced to be reckoned with. A voice to be heard above the deadening hum of the ordinary.
What stirs my heart? I want to see the lives of others change as they realize that they are free. I want to take them by the hand and show them who God has called them to be. I want to be with them to help them understand the gifts that they have hidden for so long and watch as they release them to soar. I want to be there as they pick up the weapon and turn and slay the enemy that has held them in bondage with a mere lie. I want to stand with them in the midst of their storm and together yell the battle cry… “I AM FREE! I WILL LIVE!”
Your job is to stay with the king at all times and places, coming and going.
Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere
God does not reveal himself as limitless in order to limit us. Quite the contrary. He wants to put his heart within us. “God did not save you to tame you!”
God is not looking for people who act like Christians. He wants us to be Christians! The word Christian means “anointed or Christ-like one.” Jesus didn’t go around “being good,”; he went around “doing good” and releasing all who were oppressed. What has he anointed you to do?
How will you respond when you are fully, dangerously awake? What history will you make? Will you, like the fierce lioness, awaken from a tranquilized state and rise up to defend your family, your community, your world? Are you awake? Even now, what stirs your heart?
Just as the men in the above scripture where charged; our job is to stay with the king at all times and places, coming and going. This must be our first and foremost obligation. Without this at the forefront of our daily lives all that follows is for nothing.
We try so hard to act like Christians, when this isn’t what God wants from us at all. He wants us to BE Christians. Not to act “Christ-like, but to BE Christ-like. “ how will we know what to do if we have no idea who he is and what he is doing?
We are not drones, that just walk around filling space, bumping into things and only spitting out what we have been programmed to do. We are, with the anointing of The King, a forced to be reckoned with. A voice to be heard above the deadening hum of the ordinary.
What stirs my heart? I want to see the lives of others change as they realize that they are free. I want to take them by the hand and show them who God has called them to be. I want to be with them to help them understand the gifts that they have hidden for so long and watch as they release them to soar. I want to be there as they pick up the weapon and turn and slay the enemy that has held them in bondage with a mere lie. I want to stand with them in the midst of their storm and together yell the battle cry… “I AM FREE! I WILL LIVE!”
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Wall or Wing?
2 Samuel 1-3
Ch 1
In lament, David ripped his clothes to ribbons. All the men with him did the same. They wept and fasted the rest of the day, grieving the death of Saul and his son Jonathan, and also the army of God and the nation Israel, victims in a failed battle.
David and his men wept. They wept for Saul… the man out to kill David, They wept for Jonathan, David’s friend that chose to stay loyal to those out to destroy David… and they wept for the army of God, victims in a failed battle.
This struck my heart strongly today.
It made me ask myself a question, that was humbling to answer.
How many times have I wept for… mourned for something other than what affected me?
Has there ever been a time that I have mourned for those who have come against me?
Have I ever mourned for those that were friends yet chose to stand by those who wounded me?
Has there ever been a time that I have mourned for those warriors in the army of God who have fallen victim in a failed battle?
The focus of my heart has to change. I must look at those who have come against me and mourn for them… mourn for the fact that they have listened to a lie instead of seeking the truth… that they have walked away from what God was longing to show them to heal the very thing that they were seeking deliverance from… That they chose safety instead of living.
Soothing Psalms
Psalms 91:1
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I know like David, I am not to return to the relationships that were unhealthy and damaging. I know that if I did there would be certain death. But there is something to be said for the choice to hide under the shelter of his wings instead of behind the wall of pain.
When I hide behind the wall of pain it locks me away from everything and everyone. The only thing that is able to penetrate the wall is the flight of fight instinct that drove me there in the first place. I live with brick and mortar in hand, in breathless pain and debilitating numbness waiting for the next shoe to be dropped so the wall can be built higher.
Yet when I hide under the shelter of the Most High. It is then that I am closest to his heart. The storms of life can rage around me and yet there is nothing but safety. As I am there under his wings my heart learns to beat in rhythm with his and there is rest!
It is here in this rhythm that I learn to mourn for those who have walked away. Not from me, but from God. I can mourn the fact that they have chosen the old safe way of doing things and live in the perpetual “look at me” state to get their affirmation instead of experiencing the true adventure God has designed them for. I can mourn for those in the Army of God who have fallen victim to the enemy’s plan to divide and conquer. And lastly I can mourn those whom in the past I have called friend and have chosen to stand with those whose only thought was destruction.
Lord,
Thank you, thank you for showing me a tender side of you. Thank you for finding me hiding behind my walls of pain and bringing me to true safety under the shadow of your wing. Thank you for holding me close enough to hear the rhythm of your heart’s beat and giving me the opportunity of re-tuning the beat of my heart to be in sync with yours.
Ch 1
In lament, David ripped his clothes to ribbons. All the men with him did the same. They wept and fasted the rest of the day, grieving the death of Saul and his son Jonathan, and also the army of God and the nation Israel, victims in a failed battle.
David and his men wept. They wept for Saul… the man out to kill David, They wept for Jonathan, David’s friend that chose to stay loyal to those out to destroy David… and they wept for the army of God, victims in a failed battle.
This struck my heart strongly today.
It made me ask myself a question, that was humbling to answer.
How many times have I wept for… mourned for something other than what affected me?
Has there ever been a time that I have mourned for those who have come against me?
Have I ever mourned for those that were friends yet chose to stand by those who wounded me?
Has there ever been a time that I have mourned for those warriors in the army of God who have fallen victim in a failed battle?
The focus of my heart has to change. I must look at those who have come against me and mourn for them… mourn for the fact that they have listened to a lie instead of seeking the truth… that they have walked away from what God was longing to show them to heal the very thing that they were seeking deliverance from… That they chose safety instead of living.
Soothing Psalms
Psalms 91:1
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I know like David, I am not to return to the relationships that were unhealthy and damaging. I know that if I did there would be certain death. But there is something to be said for the choice to hide under the shelter of his wings instead of behind the wall of pain.
When I hide behind the wall of pain it locks me away from everything and everyone. The only thing that is able to penetrate the wall is the flight of fight instinct that drove me there in the first place. I live with brick and mortar in hand, in breathless pain and debilitating numbness waiting for the next shoe to be dropped so the wall can be built higher.
Yet when I hide under the shelter of the Most High. It is then that I am closest to his heart. The storms of life can rage around me and yet there is nothing but safety. As I am there under his wings my heart learns to beat in rhythm with his and there is rest!
It is here in this rhythm that I learn to mourn for those who have walked away. Not from me, but from God. I can mourn the fact that they have chosen the old safe way of doing things and live in the perpetual “look at me” state to get their affirmation instead of experiencing the true adventure God has designed them for. I can mourn for those in the Army of God who have fallen victim to the enemy’s plan to divide and conquer. And lastly I can mourn those whom in the past I have called friend and have chosen to stand with those whose only thought was destruction.
Lord,
Thank you, thank you for showing me a tender side of you. Thank you for finding me hiding behind my walls of pain and bringing me to true safety under the shadow of your wing. Thank you for holding me close enough to hear the rhythm of your heart’s beat and giving me the opportunity of re-tuning the beat of my heart to be in sync with yours.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
At His feet
Ruth is one of my favorite books of the bible. The story of a young widow, leaving all that she is comfortable with to follow after a God she barely knows.
Naomi and Ruth find themselves back in Naomi’s home town. Naomi is devastated by what life has brought her… the death of not only her husband, but her two sons as well.
In a time when women were not allowed to “fend for themselves,” the loss of all the males in the family brought on additional hardship.
Ruth steps up and decides to put herself at risk and glean in the fields. Picking up the scraps that the harvesters have left behind.
Boaz notices the commitment of this young girl to her mother in law and how hard she works and gives her special privileges.
Later Ruth offers herself at the feet of Boaz and becomes his wife… the mother of Jesse, the great grandmother of David.
Soothing Psalms
Psalms 83:18
May they know that you alone—whose name is Yahweh—are the Most High over all the earth!
The Lord works in amazing way and can change the course of any human plan. Be patient and trust him, because his vindication is coming.
This brings me peace… The story of Ruth reminds me that my hard work and commitment to those I love have not gone unnoticed. As I continue to offer myself at the feet of Jesus he will cover me and protect me. He does indeed work in amazing ways and can change the course of any human plan in an instant.
We never really know the outcome of our actions, but we can be sure that if they are placed at the feet of our savior they will be made to be more than we could ever hope or imagine.
Naomi and Ruth find themselves back in Naomi’s home town. Naomi is devastated by what life has brought her… the death of not only her husband, but her two sons as well.
In a time when women were not allowed to “fend for themselves,” the loss of all the males in the family brought on additional hardship.
Ruth steps up and decides to put herself at risk and glean in the fields. Picking up the scraps that the harvesters have left behind.
Boaz notices the commitment of this young girl to her mother in law and how hard she works and gives her special privileges.
Later Ruth offers herself at the feet of Boaz and becomes his wife… the mother of Jesse, the great grandmother of David.
Soothing Psalms
Psalms 83:18
May they know that you alone—whose name is Yahweh—are the Most High over all the earth!
The Lord works in amazing way and can change the course of any human plan. Be patient and trust him, because his vindication is coming.
This brings me peace… The story of Ruth reminds me that my hard work and commitment to those I love have not gone unnoticed. As I continue to offer myself at the feet of Jesus he will cover me and protect me. He does indeed work in amazing ways and can change the course of any human plan in an instant.
We never really know the outcome of our actions, but we can be sure that if they are placed at the feet of our savior they will be made to be more than we could ever hope or imagine.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
You want me to do WHAT?
Soothing Psalms
Ps 78:37-39
“Their hearts were not really loyal to God… Still God was merciful… He remembered that they were only human, like a wind that blows and does not come back”
Judges Ch 6
One day the angel of God…came to Gideon and said “God is with you, O mighty warrior!”
Gideon replied, “ With me, my master? If God is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all the miracle-wonders our parents and grandparents told us about, telling us, “Didn’t God deliver us from Egypt?’ The fact is, God has nothing to do with us—he has turned us over to Midian.”
But God faced him directly: “Go in this strength that is yours. Save Israel from Midian. Haven’t I just sent you?”
Gideon said to him, me, my master? How and with what could I ever save Israel? Look at me, my clan’s the weakest in Manasseh and I’m the runt of the litter.”
God said to him. “I’ll be with you . Believe me, you’ll defeat Midian as one man.”
Gideon said, “If you’re serious about this , do me a favor: Give me a sign to back up what you’re telling me. Don’t leave until I come back and bring you my gift.”
I love the story of Gideon. His country is devastated. They are living eyeball deep in the choices that they made, and it has caused them to question God. (How very much like me… My choices leading me to question God)
Their enemy is ravaging them to the point that they have NOTHING! Like grains of sand, everything they try to grasp at slips through their fingers leaving them empty and afraid.
This is where the angel of God finds Gideon… Hiding out in the wine press threshing wheat.
Trying desperately to steal away to scrounge up a small meager meal.
Yet the angel of God calls him “Mighty Warrior” and commissions him for duty. He tells him to tear down the Baal idols that have been set up and to offer a sacrifice to God on the alter.
Gideon’s response… If you are really sent by God…. Wait here while I go get you something to eat. What does he make… Stew! Not a quick go grab something; but something that takes time. (I can imagine he was hoping when he returned that the angel of God would be tired of waiting, or that this was all some sort of bad dream and would be gone)
He wasn’t!
So reluctantly Gideon obeyed the command of the angel and tore down his father’s alter of Baal and offered sacrifices to God… In the middle of the night, bringing along 10 men, so that nobody would know that it was him.
But they found out!
Here Gideon is pumped! And in his zeal blows his rams horn… calling out his enemy to a fight.
Other’s respond to the battle cry!
Then the reality of what is about to happen sets in and again Gideon sets out a test for God… (two in fact, just incase there is some sort of fluke the first time)
God answers… then cuts Gideon’s men from 30 companies… to 300 men!
I am sure at this point there was probably a great deal of reluctance and nervousness on Gideon’s part!
God then uses Gideon to destroy the enemy!
I love the story of Gideon… why because he is so much like me.
I find myself eyeball deep in the choices I’ve made, grasping at the sand that keeps slipping through my fingers… hiding out from my enemy trying to eek by with just enough to calm the rumbling of my stomach when God finds me, looks me in the eye, and calls me Mighty Warrior!
He knows my fears that tend to consume me, and is patient in meeting my needs… all the time building my courage for the battle that lies ahead.
God uses ordinary everyday people to do his extraordinary work. And it will never cease to amaze me! Why? Because he remembers who I am… just like I remember… all my failures, all my wrong choices… all my stupid mistakes… all my fears… yet He chooses to love me… to use me and to call me by who he has created me to be… A Mighty Warrior used for the King of Kings!
Ps 78:37-39
“Their hearts were not really loyal to God… Still God was merciful… He remembered that they were only human, like a wind that blows and does not come back”
Judges Ch 6
One day the angel of God…came to Gideon and said “God is with you, O mighty warrior!”
Gideon replied, “ With me, my master? If God is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all the miracle-wonders our parents and grandparents told us about, telling us, “Didn’t God deliver us from Egypt?’ The fact is, God has nothing to do with us—he has turned us over to Midian.”
But God faced him directly: “Go in this strength that is yours. Save Israel from Midian. Haven’t I just sent you?”
Gideon said to him, me, my master? How and with what could I ever save Israel? Look at me, my clan’s the weakest in Manasseh and I’m the runt of the litter.”
God said to him. “I’ll be with you . Believe me, you’ll defeat Midian as one man.”
Gideon said, “If you’re serious about this , do me a favor: Give me a sign to back up what you’re telling me. Don’t leave until I come back and bring you my gift.”
I love the story of Gideon. His country is devastated. They are living eyeball deep in the choices that they made, and it has caused them to question God. (How very much like me… My choices leading me to question God)
Their enemy is ravaging them to the point that they have NOTHING! Like grains of sand, everything they try to grasp at slips through their fingers leaving them empty and afraid.
This is where the angel of God finds Gideon… Hiding out in the wine press threshing wheat.
Trying desperately to steal away to scrounge up a small meager meal.
Yet the angel of God calls him “Mighty Warrior” and commissions him for duty. He tells him to tear down the Baal idols that have been set up and to offer a sacrifice to God on the alter.
Gideon’s response… If you are really sent by God…. Wait here while I go get you something to eat. What does he make… Stew! Not a quick go grab something; but something that takes time. (I can imagine he was hoping when he returned that the angel of God would be tired of waiting, or that this was all some sort of bad dream and would be gone)
He wasn’t!
So reluctantly Gideon obeyed the command of the angel and tore down his father’s alter of Baal and offered sacrifices to God… In the middle of the night, bringing along 10 men, so that nobody would know that it was him.
But they found out!
Here Gideon is pumped! And in his zeal blows his rams horn… calling out his enemy to a fight.
Other’s respond to the battle cry!
Then the reality of what is about to happen sets in and again Gideon sets out a test for God… (two in fact, just incase there is some sort of fluke the first time)
God answers… then cuts Gideon’s men from 30 companies… to 300 men!
I am sure at this point there was probably a great deal of reluctance and nervousness on Gideon’s part!
God then uses Gideon to destroy the enemy!
I love the story of Gideon… why because he is so much like me.
I find myself eyeball deep in the choices I’ve made, grasping at the sand that keeps slipping through my fingers… hiding out from my enemy trying to eek by with just enough to calm the rumbling of my stomach when God finds me, looks me in the eye, and calls me Mighty Warrior!
He knows my fears that tend to consume me, and is patient in meeting my needs… all the time building my courage for the battle that lies ahead.
God uses ordinary everyday people to do his extraordinary work. And it will never cease to amaze me! Why? Because he remembers who I am… just like I remember… all my failures, all my wrong choices… all my stupid mistakes… all my fears… yet He chooses to love me… to use me and to call me by who he has created me to be… A Mighty Warrior used for the King of Kings!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
No going back
Joshua 2-4
Ch3
Look at what’s before you: the chest of the Covenant. Think of it- the Master of the entire earth is crossing the Jordan as you watch.
And there they stood, those priests carrying the chest of the covenant stood firmly planted on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed on dry ground.
Ch 4
Joshua set up the 12 stones taken from the middle of the Jordan that marked the place where the priests who carried the chest of the covenant stood.
“Yes, God your God, dried up the Jordan waters for you until you had crossed, Just as God, your God, did at the Red Sea, which had dried up before us until we had crossed, This was so that everybody on earth would recognize how strong God’s rescuing hand is and so that you would hold God to solemn reverence always.
As we enter into the promises that God has for us we must remember that God is going before us.
It is interesting that both the entering and the exiting of the wilderness are marked by a parting of waters.
This tells me two things:
· There is no going back
· It takes God himself to open the way.
As I face the life in the promised land, there may be times where I look back at what I have gone through and be tempted to live there again. The truth is I can’t! My heart had been changed. I see with different eyes and although I may find myself in the same proximity of my past, I can no longer live there.
God himself had gone before me, moving heaven and earth to rescue me from captivity, and free me from the pain that captivity brought.
As I enter into this new life, I too must have reminders in my life. Something to remind me who I am, where God is taking me and the miraculous journey to get here.
A little something for myself?
Joshua 4-7
Ch 7
Then the people of Israel violated the holy curse, Achan son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah of the tribe of Judah, took some of the cursed things.
Joshua leads the people of Israel into battle under the direction of God. Their first battle mind you in the promised land.
God gives then Jericho literally. All they are required to do is march quietly until the ram’s horn is blown then shout praise to God… And the walls crumble before them.
What a victory!!!
Then Achan decides to keep a little something for himself. God becomes angry and 36 men die because of Achan’s actions.
It is very easy to look at Achan and judge his actions. A quick label of “greed” and a that’s what he gets! Then I walk away proudly mounted on my beautiful high horse!
But what happens if I don’t walk away? If instead I dismount my horse put away the quick judgment and instead look at the lesson taught?
Yes, Achan was wrong in his actions. Yes, he needed to be punished, but what would cause a man who has just experienced the hand of God move in such a powerful way to make these choices? I can only guess…. Maybe it was greed, maybe it was more than that...maybe it was after being in the wilderness for so long and looking at the prospect of finally being home, he wanted to make sure that his family was provided for… that He was ok.
As I take this one step further, I wonder how many times I have in the past made these same choices in my walk with God. How many times have I kept a little something for myself in order to insure a “safe” place. My heart has many, many, many areas that I feel are better off left hidden… but it is in the hiding that others are wounded and left for dead.
As I see God move in my life and see the walls of the enemy crumble at my feet, I must remember that there is no need to keep anything for myself… It is cursed and leads to death. I must put my whole trust in God, hold nothing back, hide nothing… and let him have every last bit of me…. NOW THAT’S A VICTORY WORTH SHOUTING ABOUT!
Father, help me to give absolutely everything to you. Holding nothing back for myself, nothing hidden or buried, but all given for your use and your glory, that others see for themselves the redeeming love that drives you.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Marching orders are being drawn
Deuteronomy 1-3
I am tempted to run back to the safety of the wilderness I have come to rely on, Yet I know if I do it is here that I will die. Never entering into the fullness of what God has for me.
Ch 1
You've stayed long enough at this mountain. On your way now. Get moving. head for the Amorite hills, wherever people are living in the Arabah, the mountains, the foothills, the Neger, the seashore- the Canaanite country and the Lebanon all the way to the big river, the Euphrates. Look, I've given you the land now go in and take it. It's the land God promised to give you...
Look, God Your God, has place this land as a gift before you. Go ahead and take it now: God, the God-of-your-fathers, promised it to you. Don't be afraid. Don't lose heart.
Ch 2
God, your God, has blessed you in everything you have done. He has guarded you in your travels through this immense wilderness for 40 years now, God, your God has been right here with you. You haven't lacked one thing.
Ch 3
You've seen with your own two eyes everything God, your God has done to these two kings. God is going to do the same thing to all the kingdoms over there across the river where you're headed. Don't be afraid of them. God your God, He's fighting for you.
Soothing Psalms:
Psalms 61:3-4
You have been a refuge for me, a strong tower in the face of the enemy. I will live in Your tent forever, and take refuge under the shelter of your wings.
The time in the desert is drawing to a close and as I stand on this mountain and survey all that is around me, I realize I can't stay here.
I look behind me from this vantage point and see all that God has done. I've seen how his continual Love and guidance has protected, mended, lead, corrected and even carried me through some of the toughest terrain I have ever gone through.
I am tempted to run back to the safety of the wilderness I have come to rely on, Yet I know if I do it is here that I will die. Never entering into the fullness of what God has for me.
I look ahead and see before me the promise... The fullness of life... the life God has called me too and my heart at first glance is in awe.
I know from past experience that in this imperfect world that even in the midst of living in the promise there are still battles to be fought, lessons to be learned, and healing to be done....
and with that brings pain, struggle and heartbreak.
I also know that it is worth it all!
God says he has given me what lies ahead. He will fight for me, and Victory is mine!
Marching orders are being drawn up... the choice is mine to either follow or not.
Will I run and hide in the safety of the past or will I live in the shelter of His Wings.
It is here that my choice is made... I will gather up my skirt and run full speedtoward the promised land!!!
From deep within the battle cry is calling
Let God ARISE!!!!
Let His enemies be scattered!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
The reward to the conquerors!
Revelations 1-3
Ch 2
I’m about to call each conqueror to dinner, I’m spreading a banquet of Tree-of-Life fruit, a supper plucked from God’s orchard.
Listen… Listen to the wind words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. Christ-Conquerors are safe from Devil-death.
Listen…Listen to the wind words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’ll give the sacred manna to every conqueror; I’ll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with your new name, your secret new name.
Here’s the reward I have for every conqueror; everyone who keeps at it refusing to give up; you’ll rule the nations, your shepherd-king rule as firm as an iron staff, their resistance fragile as clay pots. This is the gift my father gave me: I [ass it along to you- and with it the Morning Star!
Ch 3
Conquerors will march in the victory parade, their names indelible in the Book of Life. I’ll lead them up and present them by name to my father and his angels.
Because you kept my word in passionate patience, I’ll keep you safe in the time of testing that will be here soon, and all over the earth, every man, woman and child put to the test.
I’m on my way. I’ll be here soon, Keep a tight grip on what you have so no one distracts you and steals your crown.
I’ll make each conqueror a pillar in the sanctuary of my God, a permanent position of honor. Then I’ll write names on you, the pillars: the name of my God, the name of God’s city- the new Jerusalem coming down out of Heaven- and my new name.
Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father.
THAT’S MY GIFT TO THE CONQUERORS!
Soothing Psalms:
Psalms 57:2
I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
When the dark times in my life come, and the question again arises in my heart…”Is it worth it?” This is the answer!
I know there are SO many areas in my life that I stumble and fall. Areas where I am willfully disobedient and areas that I just can’t seem to get it together.
I also know that I am, on my own, just like the churches described in these chapters.
But, I’m not on my own anymore… I have a God who lifts me each time I fall, lovingly corrects my disobedience and has a special way of putting the pieces of my life together when it seems impossible.
Still he calls me conqueror and has these gifts waiting for me.
What an awesome God I have!
Ch 2
I’m about to call each conqueror to dinner, I’m spreading a banquet of Tree-of-Life fruit, a supper plucked from God’s orchard.
Listen… Listen to the wind words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. Christ-Conquerors are safe from Devil-death.
Listen…Listen to the wind words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’ll give the sacred manna to every conqueror; I’ll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with your new name, your secret new name.
Here’s the reward I have for every conqueror; everyone who keeps at it refusing to give up; you’ll rule the nations, your shepherd-king rule as firm as an iron staff, their resistance fragile as clay pots. This is the gift my father gave me: I [ass it along to you- and with it the Morning Star!
Ch 3
Conquerors will march in the victory parade, their names indelible in the Book of Life. I’ll lead them up and present them by name to my father and his angels.
Because you kept my word in passionate patience, I’ll keep you safe in the time of testing that will be here soon, and all over the earth, every man, woman and child put to the test.
I’m on my way. I’ll be here soon, Keep a tight grip on what you have so no one distracts you and steals your crown.
I’ll make each conqueror a pillar in the sanctuary of my God, a permanent position of honor. Then I’ll write names on you, the pillars: the name of my God, the name of God’s city- the new Jerusalem coming down out of Heaven- and my new name.
Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father.
THAT’S MY GIFT TO THE CONQUERORS!
Soothing Psalms:
Psalms 57:2
I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
When the dark times in my life come, and the question again arises in my heart…”Is it worth it?” This is the answer!
I know there are SO many areas in my life that I stumble and fall. Areas where I am willfully disobedient and areas that I just can’t seem to get it together.
I also know that I am, on my own, just like the churches described in these chapters.
But, I’m not on my own anymore… I have a God who lifts me each time I fall, lovingly corrects my disobedience and has a special way of putting the pieces of my life together when it seems impossible.
Still he calls me conqueror and has these gifts waiting for me.
What an awesome God I have!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Until they all come home.
Today my heart is on fire. I am armed and ready to fight. For too long I have stood by as a helpless victim as the enemy ravaged those around me.
I have seen how my enemy has set out to destroy all that is good and right. How he has taken those closest to my heart and wounded them to what seems to be the point of no return at times. I have seen friends families go through the same.
NO LONGER.
The Book of Jude tells me to not give up. Tells me to love those that have fallen away and to continue on…. “ Relax, everything’s going to be alright; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way.”
“But you, dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God’s love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life. The real life! Go easy on those who hesitate in the faith Go after those who take the wrong way. Be tender with sinners, but not soft on sin. The sin itself stinks to high heaven.
I am committing myself to go after those who take the wrong way. Those who have been touched by the hand of God at some point in their life, but have since been lied to and destroyed by those closest to them and in turn walked away.
I believe it is time to call out and in Christ call forth who they were created and crafted to be.
I will stand for them. I will in prayer fight for them. I will love them. I will believe in who they ARE instead of who they show themselves as. I will believe the fight is very much worth the effort and will use every ounce in me to prove it until they all come home.
If you would like to join me in my fight. Let me know. There are some that I am already fighting for, there are others who I would love to join.
Richiesbaby@gmail.com
In Christ’s love.
Tammy
I have seen how my enemy has set out to destroy all that is good and right. How he has taken those closest to my heart and wounded them to what seems to be the point of no return at times. I have seen friends families go through the same.
NO LONGER.
The Book of Jude tells me to not give up. Tells me to love those that have fallen away and to continue on…. “ Relax, everything’s going to be alright; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way.”
“But you, dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God’s love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life. The real life! Go easy on those who hesitate in the faith Go after those who take the wrong way. Be tender with sinners, but not soft on sin. The sin itself stinks to high heaven.
I am committing myself to go after those who take the wrong way. Those who have been touched by the hand of God at some point in their life, but have since been lied to and destroyed by those closest to them and in turn walked away.
I believe it is time to call out and in Christ call forth who they were created and crafted to be.
I will stand for them. I will in prayer fight for them. I will love them. I will believe in who they ARE instead of who they show themselves as. I will believe the fight is very much worth the effort and will use every ounce in me to prove it until they all come home.
If you would like to join me in my fight. Let me know. There are some that I am already fighting for, there are others who I would love to join.
Richiesbaby@gmail.com
In Christ’s love.
Tammy
Monday, March 14, 2011
LIFE instructions
Simply put by James in chapter 3
there really isn’t anything I have to do except live by this. Remember what it says and then go do it!
- Faith and works go hand in glove. Anything else is a corpse
- James 3:16-18
“Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts….
Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats. Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results ONLY if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. “
True life lived out as the reflection of true love. Let it be engraved on the lining of my heart and resound for all to experience.
there really isn’t anything I have to do except live by this. Remember what it says and then go do it!
- Faith and works go hand in glove. Anything else is a corpse
- James 3:16-18
“Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts….
Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats. Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results ONLY if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. “
True life lived out as the reflection of true love. Let it be engraved on the lining of my heart and resound for all to experience.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Painful Perspective
Today is a very hard day. Emotions and the truth of them and the past are coming to the surface and we feel very alone.
We feel very alone and without a place. We can’t go back for the past no longer satisfies us, but we can’t find a way to go on either. It is as if we are a puzzle piece looking for a place to fit, but no matter how hard we try, we cant find the place we belong. Other pieces have come into our lives and we desperately try to make them connect with us… (even to the point of misshaping ourselves to form to them), but as time continues on we find ourselves alone and searching once again.
I keep getting a picture of a room full of people (elbow to elbow really) all with eyes tightly shut buying into the lure of the lie being told to their heart that they are alone. That they have blown it and can never come back… after all anyone who said that they loved you and cared have walked away because your failure was too big. On the occasion that an eye did chance to open, there was the realization that “No they were NOT alone” They were in a room surrounded by people… unfortunately they took comfort in that and did nothing else. Why is it that they never told the others surrounding them that the whisper was a lie? Why is it that they were content knowing that they were surrounded by others, never reaching out and touching any of them?
I don’t know where God is leading, I can’t begin to see what he has in mind for me? When I look back I see the reality of pain that has trailed my life. At times I am still the same lost teenage girl longing to have a friend. Faced with the reality that those who have said they loved me and my family have found someone else to love. I don’t understand this? Why is it when I vowed in their pain and choices to always be there when they called my determination is the same, but because I have chosen to follow where I believe God to lead me the same vow has been abandoned in return? It hurts, it is staggering and leaves me numb and without breath.
I know God is for me, I know that these are just emotions and they will pass. I know that God has great plans for me and my family. I know he is continually walking beside me and my family and we are walking where he is leading… I just wish, others would see the same.
Oh Lord, let our hearts be deaf to the lure of the lie and in tune to the truth being whispered. And give us courage to continue to touch others and tell them they too are not alone.
We feel very alone and without a place. We can’t go back for the past no longer satisfies us, but we can’t find a way to go on either. It is as if we are a puzzle piece looking for a place to fit, but no matter how hard we try, we cant find the place we belong. Other pieces have come into our lives and we desperately try to make them connect with us… (even to the point of misshaping ourselves to form to them), but as time continues on we find ourselves alone and searching once again.
I keep getting a picture of a room full of people (elbow to elbow really) all with eyes tightly shut buying into the lure of the lie being told to their heart that they are alone. That they have blown it and can never come back… after all anyone who said that they loved you and cared have walked away because your failure was too big. On the occasion that an eye did chance to open, there was the realization that “No they were NOT alone” They were in a room surrounded by people… unfortunately they took comfort in that and did nothing else. Why is it that they never told the others surrounding them that the whisper was a lie? Why is it that they were content knowing that they were surrounded by others, never reaching out and touching any of them?
I don’t know where God is leading, I can’t begin to see what he has in mind for me? When I look back I see the reality of pain that has trailed my life. At times I am still the same lost teenage girl longing to have a friend. Faced with the reality that those who have said they loved me and my family have found someone else to love. I don’t understand this? Why is it when I vowed in their pain and choices to always be there when they called my determination is the same, but because I have chosen to follow where I believe God to lead me the same vow has been abandoned in return? It hurts, it is staggering and leaves me numb and without breath.
I know God is for me, I know that these are just emotions and they will pass. I know that God has great plans for me and my family. I know he is continually walking beside me and my family and we are walking where he is leading… I just wish, others would see the same.
Oh Lord, let our hearts be deaf to the lure of the lie and in tune to the truth being whispered. And give us courage to continue to touch others and tell them they too are not alone.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Faith = Rest
Hebrews 4:1-3 (The Message)
For as long, then, as that promise of resting in him pulls us on to God’s goal for us, we need to be careful that we’re not disqualified. We received the same promises as those people in the wilderness, but the promises didn’t do them a bit of good because they didn’t receive the promises with faith. If we believe, though, we’ll experience that state of resting. But not if we don’t have faith.
Amazing that we can believe in God, believe that He exists, that He is got good plans for us, and all, but if we do not have faith… true faith that He is for our good… that he longs to walk minute by minute with us,…that he is our life’s meaning, we will not receive the rest that we are seeking.
How many times I have found myself longing for rest from the craziness of my life. I have questioned God and to be honest at times wondered if he really was faithful. I thought I had all my “duties” as a Christian taken care of, all of my plans “blessed by God.” after all they were good ideas…. But still the restlessness and the failure came.
Could it be that although I had the best intentions, I did not have faith in God. It was my works, my plans, my decisions that I believed and trusted in and asked God to bless?
Boy did I miss the boat!
Hebrews 4 goes on to say that God keeps moving the appointment he has set with us to TODAY. “Today please turn, Today listen to me.” He longs to have relationship with me. He longs to take me to a place of safety, of rest, and of adventure in HIM. It can only happen as I have faith in Him and trust in our relationship together. If I try to do it on my own, even if I ask him to slap a blessing on it, I will not find what I am looking for.
The chapter ends with this: (Hebrews 4: 14-16) “ Now that we know what we have-Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God- let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch wit our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all- all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.
For as long, then, as that promise of resting in him pulls us on to God’s goal for us, we need to be careful that we’re not disqualified. We received the same promises as those people in the wilderness, but the promises didn’t do them a bit of good because they didn’t receive the promises with faith. If we believe, though, we’ll experience that state of resting. But not if we don’t have faith.
Amazing that we can believe in God, believe that He exists, that He is got good plans for us, and all, but if we do not have faith… true faith that He is for our good… that he longs to walk minute by minute with us,…that he is our life’s meaning, we will not receive the rest that we are seeking.
How many times I have found myself longing for rest from the craziness of my life. I have questioned God and to be honest at times wondered if he really was faithful. I thought I had all my “duties” as a Christian taken care of, all of my plans “blessed by God.” after all they were good ideas…. But still the restlessness and the failure came.
Could it be that although I had the best intentions, I did not have faith in God. It was my works, my plans, my decisions that I believed and trusted in and asked God to bless?
Boy did I miss the boat!
Hebrews 4 goes on to say that God keeps moving the appointment he has set with us to TODAY. “Today please turn, Today listen to me.” He longs to have relationship with me. He longs to take me to a place of safety, of rest, and of adventure in HIM. It can only happen as I have faith in Him and trust in our relationship together. If I try to do it on my own, even if I ask him to slap a blessing on it, I will not find what I am looking for.
The chapter ends with this: (Hebrews 4: 14-16) “ Now that we know what we have-Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God- let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch wit our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all- all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.
Monday, January 3, 2011
A New plan
10 This new plan I’m making with Israel
isn’t going to be written on paper,
isn’t going to be chiseled in stone;
This time I’m writing out the plan in them,
carving it on the lining of their hearts.
I’ll be their God,
they’ll be my people.
11 They won’t go to school to learn about me,
or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons.
They’ll all get to know me firsthand,
the little and the big, the small and the great.
12 They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven,
with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.
13 By coming up with a new plan, a new covenant between God and his people, God put the old plan on the shelf. And there it stays, gathering dust.
With the changing of the year, this scripture is timely for me. Out with the old, and the looking toward the new.
As with previous years, at the changing of the old and new, God will speak to my heart as to what the topic of the year will be for me. What direction He and I will be walking together so that I can find all the blessings he has hidden for me in my personal adventure. This year is no different. This year as I look ahead and listen to the voice of the the one who guides my life, one direction is ringing loud and clear.... He desires truth in my inward parts.
Although I am not a dishonest person by any means, I know that there are things inside that need to be released. My God desires not only a life of truth to be lived by me, but a truth that runs to my very core.
I know that I am a people pleaser by nature... I am a fixer, a worrier, and I must admit a bit of a self inflicted, self driven martyr. These are the things that I must bring light and truth to.
I must release the old... the old way of doing things.
The way I react, the way I view things just because that is what was handed down to me and I myself have taken on.
I must instead turn to what has been written on my heart.
The personal love letter written to me by my personal God.
Letting go of the old and do just as God did
set it up on a shelf to gather dust.
isn’t going to be written on paper,
isn’t going to be chiseled in stone;
This time I’m writing out the plan in them,
carving it on the lining of their hearts.
I’ll be their God,
they’ll be my people.
11 They won’t go to school to learn about me,
or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons.
They’ll all get to know me firsthand,
the little and the big, the small and the great.
12 They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven,
with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.
13 By coming up with a new plan, a new covenant between God and his people, God put the old plan on the shelf. And there it stays, gathering dust.
With the changing of the year, this scripture is timely for me. Out with the old, and the looking toward the new.
As with previous years, at the changing of the old and new, God will speak to my heart as to what the topic of the year will be for me. What direction He and I will be walking together so that I can find all the blessings he has hidden for me in my personal adventure. This year is no different. This year as I look ahead and listen to the voice of the the one who guides my life, one direction is ringing loud and clear.... He desires truth in my inward parts.
Although I am not a dishonest person by any means, I know that there are things inside that need to be released. My God desires not only a life of truth to be lived by me, but a truth that runs to my very core.
I know that I am a people pleaser by nature... I am a fixer, a worrier, and I must admit a bit of a self inflicted, self driven martyr. These are the things that I must bring light and truth to.
I must release the old... the old way of doing things.
The way I react, the way I view things just because that is what was handed down to me and I myself have taken on.
I must instead turn to what has been written on my heart.
The personal love letter written to me by my personal God.
Letting go of the old and do just as God did
set it up on a shelf to gather dust.
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